TWILIGHT ZONE: ER -- NO MEDICINE ATTACHED
written by Strausser
SCENE ONE (Benton standing in front of elevator in blue surgical scrubs. Head covered. Holding a chart in his left hand resting it upwards between his arm and his side. Carter rushes to him.) Carter: Dr. Benton, glad I caught you before you went upstairs. Dr. Hicks invited me to assist her with a . . . (Benton puts up a hand. He smiles.) Benton: Go. Carter: (smiling) Thank you, Dr. Benton. (exits) (Elevator door opens and Benton walks in. He faces foreword as doors close.) SCENE TWO (Int. Doctor’s lounge. Ross is making coffee. Enter Greene.) Greene: Hey, Doug. Ross: (looking up from coffee maker) Hey, Mark, what’s up? Greene: (crosses room and leans against the lockers.) Not much. Just thinking about tonight. Ross: Who are you going to see tonight? Greene: Her name is Lolita. Ross: (poking fun) Lolita. (He exchanges a look with Greene.) So where did you meet, Lolita? Greene: You know, the usual place. Ross: A bar? (Greene nods) Ross: And where are you taking Lolita? Greene: Dinner, dancing, wine and dine. Then back to my place for the usual nightcap. Ross: (stepping up to Greene and putting his hand on Greene’s shoulder) When are you going to settle down? Greene: I’m too young to settle down. Ross: Your hairline tells me different. (smiles) Greene: (touching hairline) Hey, leave my hair alone. It’s sexy. (Ross chuckles) Greene: (childishly) Well at least I get more than you! Ross: I don’t need as much. I’m very happy with my current relationship. Greene: So where are you and the little woman going tonight? Ross: I’m taking Carol to the opera. Greene: (laughs) The opera? That’s some kind of joke, right? We’re supposed to burst out laughing right now, aren’t we? Ross: No. I’m taking Carol to see The Marriage of Figaro. Greene: (laughs again, and can hardly control is, but tries to stifle it down) All right, Doug. Whatever you say. Marriage of Figaro it is. (exits, stifling giggles.) SCENE THREE (Int. Conference Room. Anspaugh in front. Many doctors in seats.) Anspaugh: I am here to present the Doctor of the Month award. As many of you already know, this award goes to the doctor who has been excellent as well as kind. Who’s medical abilities and bedside manner exceeds all others. This month, I am proud to present this prestigious award to, Dr. Kerry Weaver. (Weaver stands from her chair and limps to Dr. Anspaugh. He hands her the award and she shakes his hand. The others clap and cheer.) SCENE FOUR (Admin. desk. Hath standing reading over charts. Greene approaches.) Greene: I heard where you’re going tonight. Hath: It’s already all over the ER? Greene: The Marriage of Figaro. Hath: Damn that man. (smiles) You must think we are totally hopeless. Greene: Not totally, but reaching the critical peak. Hath: Doug is such a sap. Greene: Well, you’re the one who’s been with him forever. Hath: That’s because I didn’t want to fall for the King of One-Nighters. Greene: (clutches chest) Ooh! Ouch! I’m bleeding internally. Somebody call a doctor. Hath: Naw, they wouldn’t help you. `Let him die!’ they’d say. Make womankind safe for a while. Greene: You are not a nice woman. Hath: I know. Greene: So that’s why they call you Nurse Bitch-Queen. Hath: (walking away) Now I’m bleeding internally. SCENE FIVE (Int. Doctor’s lounge. Ross sitting at a table finishing a cup of coffee. Enter Lewis, carrying a large bag.) Lewis: Hey, Doug. Ross: Hi, Susan. (Lewis puts bag into a locker.) Ross: Just took Little Chloe to baby-sitting? Lewis: Yeah. (closes locker and sits across from Ross.) She did the cutest thing today. Ross: Aww. What is that? Lewis: She spit up all over my shirt. Ross: Aww. How precious. (smiles) Lewis: So how are you doing today? Ross: Same as usual. But I am going to the opera tonight. Lewis: Oh, really? Ross: Yeah. Carol and I are seeing The Marriage of Figaro. Lewis: Did you tell Mark? Ross: Of course. And he laughed at me, like he usually does. Lewis: Aw, but that’s just Mark. He laughs at everybody. Ross: (smiles) Yeah, I know. SCENE SIX (Int. Cafe. Carter is sitting at a table with Gant.) Gant: You know, I really like Benton. He is so easy to work with, gives terrific advice and has got to be the nicest guy I’ve ever met. I’m glad I have the opportunity to work under him. Carter: What are you talking about? Benton is a pushover! The only reason I signed onto his team was because I knew he’d let me do whatever I wanted. I’ve done more surgeries than I can count, and I’m only a first year resident. Gant: Oh, C’mon, Carter. You’ve worked with him for over two years. You must have something positive to say about him. Carter: Benton is too soft. Everything gets to him. He’s been a practicing surgeon for three years, and I still catch him getting teary-eyed when a patient dies. Gant: You are impossible, Carter. Carter: That’s what they love about me. SCENE SEVEN (Admin. desk. Weaver standing, looking at chart. Hath approaches.) Hath: Congratulations, Kerry. Weaver: On what? Hath: Doctor of the Month. Weaver: Oh. Thank you, Carol, but I was hoping someone else would receive it this month. Hath: Naw. . .You deserved it. Weaver: But there are so many other doctors and nurses here who do a much better job that I do. I think I’m going to put your name in for this month. Hath: But I’m not a doctor. Weaver: Well, we’ll just have to change it to read ER Worker of the Month. Hath: That would be sweet, but I already know who is going to win next month. Weaver: Who? Hath: Benton. You and Dr. Benton switch for Doctor of the Month. It’s like a surgical rotation. Weaver: Well, whatever happened to Jeanie Boulet? I really enjoyed her work. Hath: Oh, she had to leave because of problems concerning one of our doctors. Weaver: Really? What happened? Hath: Well, Mark Greene took her out one night when she first came here, and ever since that night she had been in love with him. Since he couldn’t stop his extreme, fast-paced love life just to be with her, she ended up getting a transfer to a hospital in Phoenix. Weaver: You know, Mark isn’t that bad of a guy. He’s got a lot of good qualities about him. Nobody ever takes the time to see them. Hath: Oh, I’ve seen them. I just don’t want to wake up in the morning to them. SCENE EIGHT (Int. Corridor. Lewis walking. Passes Greene. They stop.) Lewis: I heard about your date with Lolita. Greene: The life of a single man. (sighs) Busy all the time. Lewis: And I heard that you laughed at Doug. Greene: You didn’t? Lewis: Of course not. The Marriage of Figaro is a great opera. Greene: How did I know you’d say that? (Lewis smiles and shrugs.) Greene: How’s the rugrat? Lewis: Little Chloe is doing great. She spit up on me this morning. It was so cute. Greene: (sarcastic) Aww. That sounds like cause for a celebration. Lewis: How did I know you’d say that? (Greene shrugs and smiles) SCENE NINE (Int. office. Carter sitting at desk, working on charts. Enter Edson.) Edson: Hey, Carter. Carter: Hi, Dale. (Edson crosses to front of desk and sits down in a chair.) Edson: Whatcha up to? Carter: (still looking down at papers) Just working on charts. Edson: Say, I was wondering. Maybe we can grab a beer together after work. It’ll be fun. What time are you off? Carter: Look, Dale, I’m a bit too busy today to bond with you. Edson: Yeah. I’m, pretty busy myself. Gonna assist Dr. Hicks with surgery at three o’clock. Carter: No you’re not. That’s mine. Edson: Hicks just asked me if I wanted to assist. Carter: (looking up for the first time) Well, you’re not. (Stands up) Hicks knows I work alone. And I certainly don’t want to work in the same room as you. (begins to leave, angrily) (Edson stands) Edson: John. (He cuts in front of Carter.) John. If it means that much to you, I’ll withdraw from the surgery. Carter: (pushing Edson aside) Get out of my way. (exits) (Edson stands in office, watching Carter leave.) SCENE TEN (Admin. desk. Hath is standing. Ross comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist.) Ross: Hi, beautiful. Hath: Hi, Doug. (Hath turns around and they kiss.) Hath: So how many more people know you are taking me to the opera tonight? Ross: Not everyone. (Hath glares at him.) Ross: O.K. So I have a big mouth. So, sue me. Hath: Don’t worry, I’ll get you back. Ross: What is your beautiful, twisted mind thinking? Hath: Revenge. Ross: Oh, c’mon, Carol. The opera is nice. Even Susan said so. Hath: She would. She’s a wuss, just like you. Ross: I do love you. Hath: (kisses him) And no matter how many operas I get dragged to, I will always love you too. SCENE ELEVEN (Admin. desk. Benton and Weaver standing.) Benton: Oh, before I forget. Congrats on Doctor of the Month. Weaver: Thank you, Peter. I was hoping, however, that someone else would win. Benton: I know how you feel. Weaver: So how do you think the residents are doing? Benton: Well, evaluations are coming up, and I feel that every one of them is doing a superb job. Especially Dennis Gant. He is one of the finest doctors I know. He’s intelligent, has great surgical hands, and his patient skills are fantastic. He reminds me of me when I was a first year resident. Weaver: Maybe he should be Doctor of the Month. (Benton smiles) (A nurse runs up to Benton and Weaver) Nurse: Dr. Benton. There is a doctor on the roof. He’s planning to jump off. You have to get him down. Benton: (worried look) Oh, my God. All right. (runs with nurse. Weaver follows.) SCENE TWELVE (Ext. Roof. Edson is standing on edge of roof looking down. Benton, Weaver and nurse enter roof.) Benton: (calling out) Dale? (Edson turns around) Edson: Don’t try to stop me, Dr. Benton. My mind is made up! Benton: (taking a few steps foreword) Dale. You don’t have to do this. Why don’t you come down and we can talk about this. Edson: There is nothing for me to live for. Benton: What about all the people you can save? You are a great surgeon. Edson: Why save other people when I can’t save myself? (takes a few steps on the edge of the roof) Have you ever been in love, Dr. Benton? Benton: Yes, Dale. I am in love right now. Edson: Well, so am I. And it hurts, Dr. Benton. Have you ever been in love with someone who hates you? Someone who despises even the look of you? (beginning to cry) Someone who won’t even stand in the same room as you? Benton: I know it’s hard, Dale. But you will find someone who loves you just as much as you love them. Edson: But I don’t want anyone else! (turns from Benton and looks down) (quieter) I don’t want anyone else. (tuns back to Benton) Tell me about your love, Dr. Benton. Benton: Her name is Carla. She is having a baby. We are getting married in the spring. Edson: (laughs) Well, let me tell you about my love. My love is smart, beautiful, perfect. There is no one else I’d rather be with. The smile, the eyes, the way of the walk. . .everything is what I want. But, unlike you Dr. Benton, my love hates me. And I don’t want to live with that anymore. (turns around again) Benton: Dale, please. Come down and we can talk about this. You will see that there is light in this dark situation. C’mon, Dale. Nobody wants you to die! Edson: (quietly, to himself) John does. (begins to lean foreword.) Benton: (rushing towards Edson) Oh my God. (Edson leans foreword enough to fall over the side. Benton reaches out and grabs Edson by the ankles. He presses Edson’s legs against his side, and extends an arm out.) Benton: Give me your hand! Edson: (crying hysterically) Let me go, Dr. Benton! Benton: Give me your hand, Dale! Let me help you! (Edson reaches up and takes Benton’s hand. Benton pulls Edson up and wraps his arm around Edson’s shoulders. They walk inside. Weaver and nurse follow.) SCENE THIRTEEN (Admin. desk. Hath is sitting. Enter Greene) Hath: (looks up) Hey, Mark? Did you hear about the fiasco on the roof? Greene: No, what happened? Hath: Dale Edson, one of Benton’s residence, tried to jump off the roof. Luckily, Benton was able to catch him in time. Greene: Instability in the work place. Hath: Well, you won’t catch me trying to commit suicide. Greene: Yeah, you are too in love with yourself. Hath: You know it. I’d never jump off the roof. Greene: No, you’d just push someone off. SCENE FOURTEEN (Int. Corridor. Lewis walking. Passes Ross. She stops) Lewis: Did you hear about what happened? Ross: No, what happened? Lewis: Dale Edson, one of Benton’s interns, tried to commit suicide by jumping off the roof. Ross: Someone stopped him? Lewis: Benton caught his leg just as Dale began to fall. Ross: Thank God for Dr. Benton. Do you know why Dale tried to kill himself? Lewis: Something about being hated by his love. Ross: Ah, amour. Fruit and poison. Lewis: (smiles) At least we are both stable. I just feel so sorry for Dale. Love is such a touchy subject. Ross: I know. But I’m happy with Carol, you have Little Chloe, Mark has whoever he’s dating at the time, and Benton’s getting married in the spring. Lewis: I know. We are so lucky to have what we want. I just wish I knew how to help Dale. Ross: Yeah, me too. But I’m sure Benton can take care of everything. He has such a way with people. Lewis: That’s what we love about Peter Benton. SCENE FIFTEEN (Int. Doorway to cafe. Gant is standing, looking in at Benton and Edson seated at a table. Carter approaches and stands next to Gant.) Gant: Dale tried to jump off the roof. Carter: Benton stopped him? Gant: Yeah. Carter: Well, it doesn’t surprise me. Dale’s weak. I knew he’d pull a stunt like this sooner or later. Gant: Carter, you have no heart. Carter: Dennis, I’m all heart. Gant: Dale said something about being hated by the woman he loved. Carter: It’s not a woman. Gant: Then who is it? Carter: You’re looking at him. Gant: Dale’s in love with, you? Carter: Yup. Everyone loves me. Gant: Well, I don’t love you. Carter: (puts hand on Gant’s shoulder) You’re the exception. (walks into cafe. and behind Edson.) Oh, Dale. I heard what happened. (puts his hands on top of Edson’s shoulders) Good thing Dr. Benton was there to stop you. (mocking) We wouldn’t want to lose you. Benton: Carter, Dale is having a really tough day. I think it’s best if you let me talk to him alone. Carter: (leaning into Edson, wrapping his arms around Edson’s neck) Aww, Dr. Benton. Dale’s my friend. I think I can help him. Edson: (quietly) John, please. . . Carter: Oh, Dale, you poor thing. (sits beside him) Tell the doctor what’s wrong. (takes Edson’s hands into his) Benton: All right, Carter. If you think you can help. (puts hand on Edson’s shoulder) Will you be okay? Edson: Yeah. Thank you, Dr. Benton. (Benton rises and leaves. Edson turns to Carter.) Carter: (after Benton leaves, extends arms) Come here, Dale. Give me a hug. (Edson slowly moves towards Carter and hugs him. He smiles and begins to weep, holding Carter tightly.) (Carter brings his face against Edson’s and his lips to Edson’s ear.) Carter: I would have let you fall. (Carter pushes Edson away and leaves. Edson sits alone, crying.) SCENE SIXTEEN (Int. Doctor’s lounge. Ross is sitting. Enter Lewis carrying Little Chloe in her arms.) Lewis: Hi, Doug. Ross: Going home? Lewis: (opens locker) Yeah. Little Chloe is tired. (takes bag from locker and closes it.) Ross: (stands and walks up to Lewis) Hi, Chloe. (takes Little Chloe’s hand) How are you today? (Little Chloe smiles and giggles.) Lewis: She has been such a good girl today. (kisses Little Chloe) (Ross takes hand from Little Chloe. Enter Greene.) Greene: There’s the rugrat. (steps up to locker, opens it, and removes coat.) Ross: Going home? Greene: (turns to Ross) Yeah. Gonna shower and shave before my date tonight. Lewis: Have fun, Mark. Greene: (turns to Lewis) I always do. (puts coat on) Later all. (walks to door) (Enter Hath) Greene: (to Hath) Have fun at the opera tonight. Hath: You know Mark, next time Doug and I go to the opera, I’m going to drag you along. (Greene smiles) Greene: All right, but we have to sit in the balcony so I can throw popcorn at the stage. (Hath smiles. Greene exits) Hath: We going home, Doug? Ross: Yup. Hath: (stands next to Ross) Hello, Chloe. (pats Little Chloe on the head) You going home too, Susan? Lewis: Yeah. Little Chloe needs a nap. She’s had a busy day. Hath: Us too. (takes Ross by the arm) Well, we’d better get going. Have a good night, Susan. Lewis: You too, guys. (Ross waves as he and Hath exit. Lewis kisses Little Chloe as Benton enters.) Benton: Hi, Susan. And hello, Little Chloe. (steps up to Lewis and takes Little Chloe’s hand.) Lewis: Hi, Peter. How was your day? Benton: Eventful. But at least everything worked out okay. Lewis: That’s good, I’m glad. (enter Carla) Carla: You ready, Peter? Benton: (turs to Carla) Hi, sweetheart. (walks to her and kisses her) I’m ready. Let me get my coat. (opens a locker, retrieves coat and closes the locker.) Good-bye Susan. I hope you and Chloe have a good night. Lewis: Thanks, you too. (Benton kisses Carla again, as they leave the room, arm-in-arm) SCENE SEVENTEEN (Int. office. Carter sitting at desk, working on charts. Enter Edson.) Edson: (angrily) I don't know what I ever saw in you! You’re egotistical, cruel, selfish and you don’t give a damn who you hurt just as long as you make out in the end. I don't know how I could have ever fallen in love with someone as horrible as you. I hope you die a bitter death, and live the rest of eternity in the Hell that you put others through! (turns and begins to leave) Carter: (without looking up) Dale? (Edson turns around. Carter motions him over with his finger. Edson walks closer to the desk. Carter stands up, steps face-to-face with Edson, and puts one hand to the back of Edson’s head. Carter kisses Edson on the lips.) Carter: I’ll meet you at Fenlie’s for a beer at seven, sharp. If you’re not there, I’m leaving. Edson: No. If I want to arrive two hours late, I will, and you will still be there when I decide to show up. (Carter kisses Edson again. Edson puts his arm on Carter’s waist) Edson: I thought you hated me? Carter: I did. Edson: What happened? Carter: (smiling) I changed my mind. (They kiss again.) SCENE EIGHTEEN (Ext. night. Outside opera house. People are leaving. Ross and Hath are among them. They begin to walk away from the opera house, arm-in-arm.) Hath: I still don’t know what they were singing about. Ross: Okay. The Marriage of Figaro is about this guy names Figaro. . . (Hath puts up a hand) Hath: Please, Doug. Not understanding it once was plenty enough for me. (Ross laughs and kisses her on the head. She smiles, as they continue to walk.) ------FIN